Deep down, we know that there is something off here. That is, this is not the way things are supposed to be, and herein lies the basic difference between the normal and the natural: for the latter suggests an “ought,” a way that things are supposed to be. The “natural,” then, leads one down the path of true happiness, while the “normal—though often attractive—may end in remorse and regret, ultimately resulting in dissatisfaction.
For this reason, my wife (Sarah Swafford) has dedicated herself to unraveling these tangles of the contemporary human heart. While many have bought into the contemporary dating scene, they often later come to grips with the fact that something is therein amiss—but they often do not know where to go from there; and so after talking themselves out of ever getting back into this contemporary dating spiral, they find themselves returning to it once more, against their deepest intuitions, out of a feeling of entrapment, with no apparent alternative.
Therefore, the first step to breaking these chains is simply to believe that there really is something more—that you’re made for more—and that the problem with the contemporary dating scene is not that it revels in romantic love too much, but that it does so too little.
Let me conclude here by noting that the reason (among many others!) that my wife is such a gem is that she untangles these issues from the inside out, from the vantage point of the human heart—not by issuing blanket condemnations, but by offering a vision of love that many intuitively have found compelling (even when at points they did not want to). This vision is about freedom, the freedom to love and to be loved, and to do so in a way that our modern world deems impossible. But it is possible—even natural, despite the fact that it’s clearly not normal. But isn’t “normal” a bit boring anyway?
If my wife’s portrayal of this vision is in fact right on target, then wouldn’t it be the case that anything less will leave the human heart restless and unsatisfied? And is this not confirmed by the contemporary dating scene? Indeed, something is off, and my wife (Sarah Swafford) has brought together many wonderful and practical ways to live out this vision. I think you’ll find her material very helpful and insightful—I know I have!